[…] 5 Years Together

The pain it takes
The blood it drains
All you’re left with is a pale face
And a game no one dares to play.

No special circumstances given
No begging heard
No holiday
No rest
No pain that resembles the rest

In the kingdom of Morpheus I lie bare
Torn out,
Fraction of time stolen,
Never returned, never replaced.

Back into Morpheus’ arms, I hope
For the best.
That hope fills every cell of my fighting body.
A warm flush of blood.
A weapon.


In the myriad of lightning strikes,
It fails.

Torn again,
I approach you one more time,
I stand on the cracked ice and wait
For the darkness to surround me.

Once again.

Without my permission.
Forced on me.
Given with your most honoured blessing.

You embrace me

A victim of your cruelty finally surrenders.
You win.
Yet again.
I will strike back.
Yet again.



Fall. Stand up. Fall. Avoid the kick. Fall again. Get kicked. Fall.

Stand up stronger, fuller, more define.

Believe in yourself. Believe in what you do. Believe in others.

One bad experience cannot ruin it all for you, or push you away from what you love.

If you still love it, though. Continue reading

Fail. Fail again. Fail better

Why are we so afraid of failure?

Since I’ve started my journey with theatre I can remember that I was always afraid to fail. To be bad at what I do. To be a weak performer.  Never to be able to achieve great things. I never trusted my skills and by doing so I never allowed myself to believe that I was, in fact, good at what I did. Funny how by being insecure and uncertain of ourselves we block the smooth running of creativity through our systems and simultaneously become stuck, dull and uncreative. Continue reading


Come play tag with me


Drop drop drop

Not now, not again, not this time


You won’t

You never do. Ignoring my prayers, begging and desperate cries for mercy Continue reading


The temple has gone on strike

Trapped in what you should call home, praise and appreciate every single day of your life. Debiliated by the weakness of your own temple. Trying to do, being stopped, trying again, wasting energy, feeling useless. The little steps, little aims should be sufficient but they aren’t. They annoy, frustrate and cause pain. Don’t allow it to get to you. Easy to say. Continue reading


Bachelor of Hard Work

I’ve done quite a few exciting projects recently and it really feels good when instead of working your ass off in that part-time job you despise with all your heart, you actually spend time on growing and expressing yourself creatively. It feels right and fulfilling, even if at the moment half of that work is pro bono. Continue reading


It will bring you luck

I’m quite superstitious. I wear my red fabric bracelet for protection from bad charms. I try not to turn back when I already left the house/room (unless I forget something as important as a jacket in a cold autumn day…). I believe that spilled salt brings argument and sugar happiness. I dread ever breaking a mirror. I either sleep on the side or with my legs crossed to protect myself from a mare (sleep paralysis) that ‘visited’ me few times and I wish it never came back again. Continue reading


Happy Anniversary.

How many times did you walk into a public toilet after someone and couldn’t stand the smell? How many times did you curse or call someone names because s/he was occupying the toilet for too long? Has the thought of them having a serious chronic disease ever crossed your mind? I bet it didn’t. Continue reading